Getting To Know Me... Getting To Know All About Me...

Celebrating My Metamorphosis

I have never been a skinny girl unless you count the time I had mumps when I was only 5 or 6. The fact of the matter is that I was not even unhappy about my chubbiness.

Somehow, somewhere, it was instilled in me that a bit of plumpness is sexy! I have no idea how or where I got that idea but Thank God I got it because it gave me such a sense of freedom particularly when I would come across those who seemed to be enslaved by the dial of the scale.

I wonder what had really contributed to my confidence that blocked all the ideas that were fed to girls and women, day in day out, by media and society! Could it have started from being the first granddaughter to two large families, Or being the first born that placed me in the center of attention and surrounded be adoring eyes? Could it have been caused by being a girl scout for all those years? Could it have been for all the applause I received for performing since I was 6, or reading tens, if not hundreds, of essays for the class, or for being the pointed person to deliver speeches at school functions and emceeing events? Could it have been for all the attention I had received from boys and men?

I don't know if it is any, all or a combination of these reasons that may have contributed to that strong sense of confidence but what it boiled down to was that not only being slightly overweight didn't faze me but contrarily I really believed it made me cute! Well, at least the "signs" certainly proved that I was not that off! Oh, you ask what "signs" I am referring to? The boys, or men who are simply boys in a larger body.

Everything was going hunky-dory until my heart was broken and it wasn't even the kind of "broken" you may be thinking!

I had entered a sort of gambling game and kept "upping the ante" due to the signs I was shown; signs of reassurance that I have at least a "Full House" if not "The Royal Flush"! I was "all in" until 'The One' giving me all the reassurances pulled the rug from under me and that is when the palace, with all its glitz and glory, came crumbling down all around me.

I felt crushed, cheated, abused and broken. I immediately put up a wall around me and crawled to the safety and comfort of my home where plenty of delicious rich food kept me satisfied and great films occupied my mind.

Years have passed and I am ready to crawl back out and celebrate my metamorphosis. In my future blog entries I will share with you the detailed plan of what is ahead. Looking for cheerleaders, you are invited to join me on this journey; My Quest For Transformation.